Mr. Jones had a deep sadness in his eyes. His family had not been the same since a devastating encounter at a major chain grocery store. As African immigrants, they faced blatant acts of discrimination from a cashier who was repeatedly abusive with them, even one time pointing to bananas on the conveyor belt and asking if they were for the couple’s “little monkeys.”
Mr. Jones attempted to address the situation by contacting customer service, but they were dismissive and made excuses for the cashier’s behavior. After weeks of unproductive back and forth, the family decided to file a complaint with the grocery chain’s headquarters. Eventually, they settled for a small sum of money, with one of the conditions being that they couldn’t discuss the incident with anyone, as outlined in the non-disclosure agreement that accompanied the settlement. Despite this resolution, the emotional burden grew heavier over time. Some neighbors caught wind of the incident and began to give the family the cold shoulder, assuming they were just making trouble. As a result, the children became reluctant to go outside, and the family felt increasingly isolated in their community. This spiral into depression led them to seek help in my office, but they were so afraid of violating their non-disclosure agreement that the couple hesitated to share the full details of their experience with me as their therapist, even as the emotional toll was tearing them apart.
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As a clinical psychologist specializing in the mental health effects of discrimination, I frequently work with people who are involved in various proceedings, including civil lawsuits, regulatory board hearings, criminal cases, and tribunals. I may be hired to ascertain the extent of emotional damage caused by discriminatory incidents, or I may be involved in the treatment of clients suffering from racial trauma. One salient issue that often arises in these situations is the expectation that victims will sign some sort of non-disclosure agreement (NDA) as part of settling the case. However, many people don’t fully consider the potential social and psychological consequences of signing an NDA.
Essentially, by agreeing to full non-disclosure, clients silence themselves, inadvertently allowing injustice to persist by erasing the opportunity to freely share their lived experience with others and keeping critical issues of individual and systemic racism hidden from public scrutiny. More importantly, this enforced silence can perpetuate the stress and trauma associated with the incidents, preventing victims from fully healing.
The Truth and Reconciliation committees of South Africa recognized this core truth about overcoming trauma, that it must be witnessed to heal. Traumatized individuals need to be seen, heard, and understood to gain healing. It is only the rare individual who can recover by witnessing their own trauma, and all trauma therapy includes this theme.
Lawyers may not always recognize the psychological ramifications of an NDA, particularly the fact that it can trap their clients in a cycle of unresolved pain. Attorneys are often focused on getting the biggest payout possible for their clients, and the NDA may seem like a small price to pay. But when people are barred from discussing their painful experiences with others or are fearful of speaking the truth of their experience, it hinders their ability to psychologically process the event, which is necessary for healing and post-traumatic growth. This processing is typically accomplished by recounting facts and feelings with others who care about the person, including loved ones, trusted confidants, and therapists. This processing helps the person gain insight and new perspectives and discard feelings of shame. The silencing required by an NDA can lead to feelings of isolation and exacerbate the emotional toll of the experience, making it even harder to move forward toward recovering from the toll of discrimination.
When my clients find themselves in such situations, I advise against agreeing to full non-disclosure agreements. Money alone does not cure the mental anguish caused by discrimination. And if an NDA is unavoidable, it is still possible to negotiate terms that allow them to share their story with friends, family, and healthcare professionals, even if they cannot go public with their experiences. If you find yourself facing such a dilemma, remember that your story is yours and no one else’s.
