You’ve tried the bars, clubs, dating apps, and maybe even the library, grocery store, or going on dates arranged by friends yet, still no prospects for a husband. We know how challenging finding a compatible love match is and sometimes we need outside advice on what to do.
Here are 6 tiny behaviors of women who magnetically attract husbands:
1. They set higher standards
Set standards for the way you want to be treated, how you want to feel, what’s acceptable and not acceptable, and what you are willing to compromise on as you search for forever love.
Once you set those standards, be sure to stick to them. Once you falter on those standards, you are making it clear that you accept being treated a certain way, and that will certainly not attract high-quality men to you.
At the first sign you don’t feel good about how a man treats you, speak up instead of swallowing your voice. Then, leave if he treats you poorly again. By sticking around, you are telling him it’s OK for him to treat you this way.
— Janet Ong Zimmerman, Courtship and relationship mentor
2. They show respect and kindness — and expect it back
When you genuinely respect him and act with kindness, you can find out if he is going to be a true partner by how he treats you. When you show respect, he feels appreciated and valued and is more likely to see who you are and respect and honor you.
Knowing you value him, he is more likely to appreciate you and see you as a friend, someone he can marry, and build a family and a life.
P.S. Watch how he treats others. In the early stages of a relationship, everyone usually is on their best behavior so you want to see how he treats other people so you know how he is.
— Marilyn Sutherland, Relationship Coach
3. They’re authentic and know how to express themselves
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To attract a partner into a lasting relationship authenticity and unapologetic expression will capture the person who is most attracted to who you truly are. If you go overboard to prove you are worthy, attractive, smart, and interesting enough, you will have attracted someone interested in a manufactured character.
This is not the partner you want. Be the you that feels the most at home within yourself and you will be amazed at how magnetic you are, as supported by research on authenticity and attachment.
— Larry Michel, AKA The Love Shepherd, Founder: Institute of Genetic Energetics
4. They’re honest about their likes and dislikes
When I was single, there were a few popular yoga places in Los Angeles that everyone went to. They were packed with hot, sweaty people with seriously fit bodies and featured world-famous instructors.
For some reason I went to these studios over and over again, spending my hard-earned money on jam-packed classes. It was just the obvious thing to do, so I did it.
Then one day someone gave me a coupon for a free class at a different, not-very-cool yoga studio and I tried it.
When I walked in, I felt like I could breathe. I hadn’t realized how much stress going to the “right” yoga studio had added to an activity designed to reduce stress and make me healthier. I wasn’t paying attention.
You’re probably doing the same thing in your life, without even knowing it.
Are you being dragged to clubs or shows by your friends, despite feeling exhausted afterward? Maybe because you have FOMO, or you think you’ll meet a guy there? This isn’t going to work out for you in the end. Dating sucks when you are dating the wrong people!
Unless you can meet the other person who also doesn’t like being there, you’re not going to meet someone you have a lot in common with, or is energetically in line with where you want your life to go. Be willing to be alone or miss some hang time with friends to find out what’s right for you.
— Joanna Schroeder, Author, Editor, And Media Critic
5. They show off their personalities
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Romantic attraction is about more than just physical characteristics, and it is well-known that personality impacts the perception of beauty. How do you get a guy to catch feelings? The answer, show him who you are inside.
A 2007 report by David M. Buss of the University of Texas showed that both men and women across the world valued intelligence and kindness in prospective long-term mates. Intelligence is indicative of problem-solving and parenting skills, and kindness is both a social asset and a source of solace for close companions.
Beyond just being kind to him, show him your sense of humor to make him smile.
Men are also inclined to catch feelings for outgoing women. In a 2015 study, extraversion was reported as the most important characteristic men look for in a long-term female partner.
Confidence and positivity are sexy, so don’t be afraid to show off in social situations. Even honesty tends to be viewed as an extremely attractive trait, as supported in an evaluation of honesty and attractiveness.
— Christian Anderson, Dating and Relationship Coach
6. They aren’t afraid to be a little sassy
A little feistiness goes a long way with most people to pique their curiosity.
When you are sassy, you demonstrate your intellect and sense of humor. That combination is highly inviting.
Sassiness can include light verbal teasing. For example, if they ask you for your number too quickly, you can say something like, “You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Or “My digits are sought after” without giving out your number.
This creates a challenge and can start a fun conversation.
— Ronnie Ann Ryan, Dating Coach
Be you, be exactly you, and amplify your favorite parts of yourself. Have fun, enjoy the twists and turns, and never settle for less than you deserve. If you don’t hide your true self, a guy will take notice because you are his type. He just wasn’t able to see it until you showed the world.
Will Curtis is a writer and editor for YourTango. He’s been featured on the Good Men Project and taught English abroad for ten years.
