Throughout my life, I have been treated as if I had challenges that are common in more common neurotypes. I think in words and find reading and written expression comfortable, am an omnivert with a healthy social life, and find it pretty easy to manage my attention.
Beautiful mystery
Source: Ludmila Praslova / Canva AI
–Anna L., an adult diagnosed with nonverbal learning difference
Imagine excelling in debate club, but getting anxious when asked to set the dinner table. Imagine being able to articulate complex ideas, but struggling with “visual aids.” Now imagine that everyone you know tells you that you must have difficulty with language—the rest of these things are surely easy.
This is the reality for many with nonverbal learning difference/disability/disorder (NVLD), one of the most misunderstood forms of neurodivergence.
The term “difference” reflects the preference of neurodivergent communities for diversity-focused rather than deficit-focused language, such as “disorder” or “disability.” Many adults diagnosed with NVLD also prefer identity-first language—NVLDer. And while language surrounding most neurodivergent differences is complicated, NVLD is associated with a unique challenge of frequent misunderstanding.
Those somewhat familiar with neurodivergent differences often assume that what we know about attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, or dyslexia is generally transferable to NVLD. But it is not.
Even within the more researched neurodivergent labels, individual experiences vary widely—and that is before we account for the intersectional differences. When it comes to rarely discussed differences, such as NVLD, misconceptions and misinformation are very common. This was illustrated when NVLD came into the spotlight due to the media and public focus on Gus Walz, the son of Minnesota Governor and 2024 Vice-Presidential Candidate Tim Walz. When his parents disclosed that Gus has NVLD (along with ADHD and anxiety), many confused nonverbal with nonspeaking and NVLD with other forms of neurodivergence, such as autism.
Sadly, such confusion is not rare. Many others with NVLD experienced the effects of common misunderstandings of this difference in their own lives. This post integrates lived NVLD experience examples and academic research to address some of the most common misconceptions.
Anna L., a professional with NVLD, shared some of her story and struggles caused by stereotypes and overgeneralizations about her form of neurodivergence in my book, The Canary Code: A Guide to Neurodiversity, Dignity, and Intersectional Belonging at Work:
I’ve been given visuals to learn things, or been left to learn by doing, when I need words to learn. This has confused me and made it harder to backtrack and learn processes after I learned the wrong way.
I’ve been assumed to have challenges with cognitive empathy despite actually having a skill in that area. This assumption, and having people who made this assumption frequently tell me I was not being empathetic enough, has left me to struggle with the feeling that I don’t matter as much as all other people and put others first far too often, which has been harmful to me.
This illustrates a common struggle of NVLD—dealing with others’ misconceptions. Here, I address the most prominent of these erroneous assumptions.
1. NVLD Is Not a Language Difficulty
The term “nonverbal” is misleading. In fact, NVLD refers to difficulties in tasks other than language, while words are often the strength of people with NVLD. Their areas of challenge may include visual-spatial tasks, emotional regulation, or motor coordination.
In a story from Anna L. that didn’t make it into my book, she struggled with the expectation that, as a manager, she must participate in preparing and hosting a Thanksgiving dinner. Not only her coworkers, but even her therapist misunderstood her unease:
I shared my stress about having to take part in leading this event with my therapist, and she started assuming I was nervous about the crowds and socializing. No, I enjoy those parts. I was afraid of my spatial and fine motor skills and my ability to decorate and cook food. I even wash dishes slower than most people.
My therapist didn’t know what to say after I explained my challenges. I was afraid my struggles on display would harm my reputation as a manager. I had no idea how to handle the challenges and my therapist didn’t seem to know how to help me. So I just had to jump in and hope it didn’t harm my career.
I do remember getting a bit of a weird look from a fellow manager while I struggled cutting brownies.
2. NVLD Should Not Be Confused With Autism
As illustrated by Anna’s story, what may appear as social challenges might, in fact, reflect difficulties with motor tasks rather than struggling with social aspects of relationship building. Many people with NVLD are highly adept at purely social tasks—but the neurotypical world fails to understand that common social situations and activities involve visual-spatial and motor barriers to participation—from navigating unfamiliar spaces to participating in crafts or cooking. While these may present barriers for some autistic people as well, NVLD does not share struggles with social barriers such as small talk, expectations of eye contact, or the sense of overwhelm caused by noisy spaces that may negatively impact the social experience of autistic people.
In Anna’s case, people have also assumed the need for structure—a common (and not applicable to all) assumption about autistic people:
I was pushed into being a dental hygienist in high school despite my significant fine motor and spatial challenges because “I would know what was expected of me” even though I never really needed that sort of structure. Luckily I got a job via my high school guidance department as a dental assistant at an office that hired a high school student as a dental assistant the year before me. I say luckily because I was fired due to my fine motor challenges… so I didn’t end up in school for dental hygiene.
3. NVLD Should Not Be Confused With ADHD
While many neurodivergent conditions overlap and coexist, typical NVLD struggles do not include attention, although the difficulty in emotional processing may sometimes resemble ADHD. Difficulty with attention was also something others incorrectly assumed about Anna.
Anna’s experiences vividly illustrate the complexities of NVLD and the role of stereotypes in creating barriers to success and well-being. Like with other forms of neurodivergence, it is important to focus on the individual pattern of strengths, needs, and challenges to help people work with their strengths—and thrive. Their way.
