Family relationships are complicated by nature. Things are made even more awkward when expectations between different people don’t align.
That was the case for one family who felt a major generational gap between their parents and grandparents, who expected much more than what they gave in return.
A set of boomer grandparents wanted to be acknowledged even though they never spoke to their granddaughters.
A son and father posted on Reddit to share the unfortunate situation he was in with his parents.
“My parents are boomers,” he explained, providing some background information. “My dad is 64 this year, and my mom is 61. I never had the greatest relationship with them, but I thought that would improve when my wife … and I … had my twin girls [in] January 2020.”
“They haven’t spoken to them one time,” he said of his parents’ relationship with his daughters. “They’ve made no effort to make a phone call, FaceTime, visit … nothing.”
As it turns out, the man’s daughters aren’t the only ones these boomers ignore.
“They don’t even attempt to contact my wife or I to ask how they’re doing, ask for photos, nothing,” he stated. “Once a year, we get a $100 Old Navy gift card.”
Despite how they have treated their granddaughters, their son, and his wife, there are certain niceties that they still expect from their son. Every Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, they want a text from him.
“On Father’s Day, I sent my dad a text,” the man said, as is his tradition every year. “He historically responds with a one-word response such as ‘cool’ or ‘nice.’”
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This year, however, his father’s response was different.
“We were moving across the country on Mother’s Day, so instead of his usual nonsense, he said, ‘You could have wished your mom a happy Mother’s Day.’ I was a day late because we were driving through the desert at the time,” the son explained.
This was officially too much for him to handle. “I lost it,” he admitted. “Not only have they never wished us a happy parent’s day one single time, they haven’t contacted my kids.”
“I unleashed four and a half years of rage,” he said. “Asked why they don’t care about their grandkids, etc.”
“His response was ‘boomeresque,’” the man said of his father.
‘“Oh, how dare you? You’re so rude. We’re so easy to get along with. We give you space. We know you’re busy,’” his dad told him.
“The gaslighting starts,” he continued. “I asked how that’s [been] the case for almost five years. Then comes the deflection.”
“‘I tell people all the time how proud we are of you guys,’” his dad said.
“‘Cool, Dad, I’m glad strangers know that you’re proud of us, but my kids don’t know that they have a grandpa,’” he replied.
Younger generations do worry about boomers’ role as grandparents.
Many from younger generations, especially millennials, the children of boomers, are concerned about boomers’ behavior as grandparents.
According to the Tulsa Kids blog, “Millennials assert that their parents are not good grandparents. They claim that their parents are uninvolved, selfish, and not helpful.”
The blog also stated, “In a perfect world, the generations could find a way to reach a compromise that makes everyone happy. As with most issues, the solution is communication … Having realistic expectations is critical.”
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Parenting blog Scary Mommy agreed that it is best to cut boomer grandparents some slack. They pointed out that boomer grandmothers were more likely to join the workforce than previous generations, meaning they were less likely to be prepared to help out with childcare for their grandkids.
Still, not being involved in your grandchildren’s lives at all is a very questionable thing to do. How one could expect their son to acknowledge them while barely paying any attention to his life is nothing short of sad.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.
