When you start dating someone new, you want to make the best impression possible. More than anything, you want this amazing man to like you and think you’re wonderful.
When you’re swept up and excited about a new romance, you may unknowingly change who you are to impress him. Unfortunately, according to research published by the Pew Research Center, we tend to set different expectations for men and women — which means you might feel pressured to behave a certain way to make a good first impression.
You may let your healthy boundaries slip (or forget them altogether). But, if you don’t keep to your standards at the start of your relationship, you won’t be able to get them back down the line.
Here are 5 free things women never owe any man, with no exceptions:
1. You don’t have to explain to him why you’re not married
Being cross-examined about why you’re “still” single puts you on the defensive. It makes you feel judged and vulnerable. There are damn good reasons why you’re single. Stop telling yourself that being married is OK and being single is not. Nothing is wrong with you, whether single by choice or chance. And you don’t need to justify where you are in life.
2. You don’t owe him intimacy, ever
Just because he wants to have sex with you doesn’t mean you have to go through with it. If you feel real or imagined pressure, don’t do it to make him happy (or to make him like you).
Research from the University of South Carolina finds that women are more likely than men to feel pressured to have sex they don’t want, but remember that taking you out and spending your money on you does not equate to purchasing access to your body! Remember, once given, it can’t be taken back.
3. You don’t have to be monogamous
If a man wants exclusivity from you, even if he’s not exclusive with you, the answer is no! It’s a simple concept: don’t commit to him more than he’s committed to you. When he’s truly serious about you, he’ll agree to monogamy; if he doesn’t, he’s just not ready.
4. You should never feel pressured to drink or do drugs with him
Men who do drugs and drink usually like company, so he’ll want you to join him. Know what’s right for you, and don’t change your habits or boundaries to please him.
If he says you’re ruining his fun or being a prude, it’s OK; you’re not required to prove your coolness. If his drinking or drugs are an issue for you, take it seriously, otherwise, you’re playing with fire.
GaudiLab | Shutterstock
5. You don’t apologize for being authentically you
If he judges what you eat, what you wear, or how you look … beware. If he labels your beliefs wrong or silly, think twice. Don’t make excuses or justify your choices to a man who doesn’t “get you.” Be who you are and be proud.
Knowing what you don’t owe a man hopefully reminds you of what you DO owe yourself. Honor your boundaries, trust that you know what is right for you, and most importantly, don’t change who you are for ANYONE (a man you’re dating or otherwise).
