Disappointment will pop up in life now and again.
I will never forget the moment 22 years ago that changed my life forever. I was loading the dishwasher in my old house — it was late and the kids were already in bed.
As the door squeaked, closing tight, and I hit start, I asked myself a question, “Is there more to life than this mundane existence?”
The question seemed to come out of nowhere. Disappointment in life can be minor or devastating.
If you’re disappointed by life, take these 3 immediate actions:
1. Allow the pain to saturate you
Even if it feels like your heart is shattering into a million pieces. Don’t eat or drink your pain away. Instead, relax into it.
Take a walk outside and let the air fill your lungs, crawl into your bed, dissolving into its softness, or sink into a warm, lavender-scented bath. Lavender has been proven by extended research to help alleviate anxiety symptoms.
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Cry or scream if your body wants to release emotional pain. Notice that, in time, the heaviness in your chest will dissipate a bit, and you can breathe easier.
And maybe your mental outlook toward the horrible things that upset you will shift to a more positive, optimistic view. It’s as if a jewel of insight lies beneath your pain.
2. Don’t victimize yourself — empower yourself, instead
Questions such as, “Why me?” will lead to self-loathing, bringing more suffering — you deserve better. You’re not a speck lost in a stormy ocean — you’re an equal participant in the game of life. You are the ocean.
Self-compassion, according to psychologist Alice Boyes, author of the Healthy Mind Toolkit, can help boost your self-esteem and happiness levels.
Offer yourself words of kindness and positivity, because the words you speak mentally generate the way you feel:
- “I am strong and capable.”
- “I can handle any problem coming at me.”
- “I am smart and resourceful.”
- “I will figure it out.”
- “I can always ask for help if I need to.”
3. Pull a spiritual card out of your mental deck
Trust that the illness, betrayal, or money problems are God-sent experiences for your personal growth and evolution.
I hate this spiritual insight while feeling in my heart that it is valid.
But still, in moments of severe distress, like watching TV and seeing people in my homeland of Belarus being harassed, tortured, and killed during peaceful protests, I could not care less about my soul’s evolution.
And, yet, there is a deeper, spiritual meaning to literal, human things. Usually, this awareness brings some kind of soothing, and just for a moment, it gives us enough hope that we will see better days.
And so, as you leave your house tomorrow, mad at the world, remind yourself that there’s more to you than your predicaments and daily chores.
Beneath your raging mind, there is a solid core of invincibility, the calm stability of your spiritual nature — something I discovered during my daughter’s illness years ago.
Acknowledge that there’s power and there’s beauty within you that is stronger than all the ugliness and challenges around you.
Katherine Agranovich, Ph.D., is a Medical Hypnotherapist and Holistic Consultant. She is the author of Tales of My Large, Loud, Spiritual Family.
