80 of the Best Dirty Pickup Lines to Use on Guys Over Text

By: Milena J. Wisniewska

The internet’s packed with dirty pickup lines to use on guys over text and all sorts of inappropriate pickup lines. I’ve pulled together the ultimate list of the best dirty ones to grab his attention and keep things naughty. Go, flirt away!

Dirty Pickup Lines to Use on Guys Over Text

1. I was feeling a little off today, but you managed to turn me on.
2. There’s a big sale in my bedroom right now. Want to come over? Clothes are 100% off! 
3. Do you prefer to wear boxers or briefs? Never mind, you won’t need either tonight.
4. Do you like pets? I can show you my kitty tonight.
5. My bed already feels cold without you in it.
6. This morning I finally realized what was missing in my bed. You.
7. Tonight is Halloween, trick me into being your treat.
8. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U between F C and K. 
9. My bed is broken so how about I sleep in yours tonight? 
10. Do I have to sign for your package?

When it comes to texting, dirty pickup lines can be a bold way to break the ice or turn up the heat. 

Do they feel cheesy? Absolutely. But that’s the fun of it! 

Timing is everything, though. Some lines are perfect for a pre-date Tinder banter, while others work better once there’s already a connection.

Dirty pickup lines aren’t for the faint of heart — they’re for those who appreciate a little cheeky humor and aren’t afraid to take a risk in their flirting game. 

Inappropriate Pickup Lines

1. Those are some nice pants! Mind if I test the zipper?
2. You’re definitely on my to-do list tonight.
3. You look familiar. Have we had sex before? No? Well, we should.
4. We’re like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You’re hot, and I want to be on top of you.
5. I’m not much of a wine girl. I prefer moans.
6. I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
7. That’s a nice shirt. Can I try it on after we’ve had sex?
8. I don’t think I want babies, but I wouldn’t mind refining my baby-making technique with you.
9. Are you a racehorse? Because when I ride, you’ll always finish first. 
10. Some people are admirable, some are formidable, you’re just shaggable.

These inappropriate pickup lines are perfect for when you want to push the boundaries and add some extra heat. 

They’re funny, dirty, and a little risqué — ideal for those who appreciate a well-placed naughty joke. 

Remember, in the world of online dating, sometimes a cheeky one-liner is just what you need to get the ball rolling.

Naughty Pickup Lines for Him 

1. Kiss me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Richard?
2. Can I borrow a kiss? I swear I’ll give it back.
3. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
4. Damn, if being sexy were a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!
5. Are you an Avenger? Because I think we’re endgame.
6. You know what’s on the menu? Me “n” u.
7. I think there’s something wrong with my phone. Your number’s not in it.
8. I’m sure you’re taken, but I had to introduce myself.
9. Are you a loan? Because you’ve got my interest.
10. Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m free tomorrow, how about you? 

Seduction is an art, and these sexy pickup lines are designed to tease and tantalize. 

They’re perfect for taking things up a notch and letting him know exactly where your mind is. 

When used at the right moment, they can turn a casual conversation into something much more exciting.

Nasty Pickup Lines for Him

1. Hey, what’s your name? I need to know what I’ll be screaming tonight.
2. Well, hey there! I sure don’t need a spoonful of sugar to swallow you.
3. Are you a candle? Because I want to blow you.
4. If I told you I worked for UPS, would you let me handle your package?
5. If I would’ve known I’d be getting this wet tonight, I would’ve worn my bikini.
6. You remind me of my pinky toe because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture imaginable.
7. Is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
8. Do you like whales? Because we could go hump back at my place.
9. Are you a firefighter? Because you came in hot and left me wet.
10. Are you an elevator? Because I’ll go up and down on you.

These nasty pickup lines are for when you’re ready to go beyond the flirty and plunge into steamy. 

They’re not for everyone, but for those who appreciate a bold approach, these lines will definitely get his attention.

Freaky Pickup Lines for Guys

1. You’re the opposite of my high school homework because I actually want to do you all night long.
2. You look like a really hard worker. I have an opening you can fill.
3. I suddenly feel like a vampire, I want to suck everything out of you.
4. My favorite position is on my knees, begging for rain.
5. If you’d like to experiment being an astronaut with me, we can start with Uranus.
6. Do you like BDSM? My safe word is “continue.”
7. What size are you? My mouth would be the perfect fit.
8. I don’t like being spanked. But you’re welcome to break the rule.
9. How far can you go? Just keep thrusting until I see the white in your eyes.
10. Let’s dress up tonight . . . I’ll be the piñata and you’ll be the stick.

Sometimes, you want to take things to a freaky level, showing your wild side without holding back. 

A well-placed dirty joke can work wonders and turn a romantic interaction into a hookup situation real quick. 

These freaky pickup lines are perfect for when you’re in the mood to get a little crazy and see just how horny can you get him with your words only.

Spicy Pickup Lines for a Guy

1. Hey! Do you want to do 68? You go down on me, and I owe you 1.
2. Roses are red. Violets are fine. I’ll be the 6, if you’ll be my 9.
3. Let’s play carpenter. First, we’ll get hammered, and then you’ll nail me.
4. I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.
5. I would usually go for a dirty pickup line, but you seem dirty enough. Let’s just go.
6. It feels like one of those nights where neither of us gets any sleep . . . . 
7. Sorry to bother you, but do you have room for an extra tongue in your mouth?
8. I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me.
9. Hey, you’ve got something on your butt. My eyes!
10. I’m not wearing any socks. And I have the underwear to match.

When you want to heat things up and make sure your intentions are crystal clear, spicy pickup lines are your best bet. 

These lines will let him know exactly where you stand — no beating around the bush.

Pickup Lines to Make Him Blush

1. Nice hair. Can I mess it up?
2. Do you know what would look really good on you? Me.
3. Are you a sea lion? Because I can “sea” you “lion” in my bed tonight.
4. Let only latex stand between our love.
5. Those pants look great on you. But they’d look even better on my floor.
6. Want to save water by showering together?
7. Are you a sprinkler? Because you’re making me wet.
8. With all that hotness strutting around, I’m not surprised we’re facing global warming.
9. Who said you need to take me to dinner first? Let’s cut straight to dessert.
10. I can be your damsel in distress, only if you push me to undress.

For those moments when you want to make him blush and keep him guessing, these pickup lines are perfect for adding a touch of sweetness to your flirtation. 

These lines are sure to leave him smiling, and maybe even a little flustered.

Kinky Pickup Lines for Him

1. Do you want to give me an Australian kiss? It’s like a French kiss, but down under.
2. I might be wasted tonight, but the condom in my purse doesn’t have to be.
3. Want to make a porno? We don’t have to tape it.
4. Screw me if I’m wrong, but haven’t we met before?
5. Don’t you think it’s loud in here? You can use my thighs as earmuffs.
6. You’re just like a wine tasting. They say to spit, but I always prefer swallowing.
7. I hope you’re not claustrophobic because I’ll be wrapping my thighs around your face tonight.
8. I don’t know how to drive a manual shift, can you teach me how to handle a knob?
9. I hate it when people pull my hair. I’d love to hate you tonight.
10. Stop beating around the bush and beat this bush.

If you’re looking to take things to the next level and introduce a bit of kink into your conversation, these pickup lines are sure to do the trick. 

Get ready to explore a whole new side of your relationship with these bold and daring lines.

Conclusion

Inject some spiciness into your texting game with my selection of dirty pickup lines to use on guys over text and all sorts of inappropriate pickup lines.

From R-rated puns to cheeky one-liners, these witty, NSFW phrases are perfect for real-life scenarios as well as dating apps and guaranteed to make your messages unforgettable. 

Take the lead and have fun!

If you’re interested in reading more about starting a relationship, visit our page here.