Anyone with a dog has likely gotten mad at them at some point. Maybe they chewed your favorite shoe or broke something expensive.
In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to let anger consume you or to assume that your dog simply doesn’t care. However, your dog cares more than you think.
Here are 7 signs your dog is trying to apologize to you
1. Their head is down, and their ears and tail droop
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When you yell at your dog, you probably notice the way they keep their head down, or how their ears and tail droop slightly. When this happens, we might not think much of it or just assume our pups feel bad. But what your dog is trying to tell you is a lot different than what we initially thought.
According to registered veterinary technician Jenna Stregowski, “An anxious dog often has a lowered head, holds the ears partially back, and stretches the neck out.” But why is your dog anxious? Likely, it’s because they feel guilty about your reaction and are trying to ease tensions.
Adds VCA Animal Hospitals, “Submissive dogs lower their heads, hunch down, and avert their eyes when trying to diffuse a situation or appease their owners.”
2. They secretly watch you
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If your dog tends to linger after you’ve scolded them, they might try to secretly eye you or peek at you. However, this is just what happens when your dog feels bad; they can’t help but look at you.
Certified professional dog trainer, Stephanie Gibeault, MSc, CPDT-KSA, adds, “Dogs have many reasons for turning their gaze on us. But most of the time they are either communicating with us or waiting for us to communicate with them.”
Likely, they’re waiting for you to calm down so they can approach you, or they’re simply waiting for you to approach them. Regardless, your dog is looking for the moment when someone can swoop in to ease tensions, which is why they look at you so intently.
3. They approach and lick you
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It can feel annoying or frustrating when your dog tries to lick you. Understandably, you might even feel the urge to push them away. But when your dog licks you, they’re really just trying to calm you down after making you upset.
According to certified veterinary acupuncturist Dr. Kasey Stopp, “Studies have shown that licking releases endorphins in a dog’s brain. Endorphins are neurotransmitters that make dogs (and us!) feel calmer and more relaxed.”
4. They softly whine
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Have you ever heard a soft whine come from your dog? We might not think much of it and assume they’re seeking attention. While it’s true that dogs may whine for attention, they also do so for other reasons. According to ASPCA, “Dogs most commonly whine when they’re seeking attention, when they’re excited, when they’re anxious, or when they’re trying to appease you.”
If your dog has set you off lately, they’re doing their absolute best to appease you. Why? Because they feel guilty about angering you. That’s why it’s important to set aside your anger and meet them halfway, even when it’s hard to.
5. They bring you their favorite toy
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When you’re upset with your dog, you might notice that they want to play. They’ll bring you their favorite toy and look up at you with those sweet eyes. On the surface, it might seem like they have zero care in the world regarding your feelings, but that would be wrong.
According to one study, play is used to encourage the emotional bond between humans and dogs. And when you’re upset with your pup, it’s pretty clear that bond might be strained. So, to make up for it (and reinforce it) your dog might wag its tail, eager to play a game.
6. They show you their belly
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When your dog rolls over to reveal their belly, this might seem like an attention-grab, but it can also mean they’re trying to make amends for making you upset. When a dog feels guilty, they want to show that they’re listening to you and are appeasing you.
Dog behavior expert Kayla Fratt adds, “Dogs roll on their back and expose their bellies to us for two main reasons: as a display of appeasement, and as a request for a belly rub.” She continues, “A dog adopting an appeasement gesture (also called a submissive display) is trying to diffuse social tension by showing that they’re not a threat.”
So, an exposed belly shows that your dog is sorry and is willing to behave, which certainly tugs on the heartstrings! You really can’t be mad at your dog after that display.
7. They refuse to eat
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After yelling at your dog in anger, you might notice them in a corner, refusing to eat. But this behavior is more than just stubbornness; rather, it’s a sign that they feel awful about what they did and are highly stressed over it.
Family dog meditator and certified behavioral consultant Cathy Madson writes, “Stress and anxiety can inhibit your dog’s natural appetite. It’s common for dogs that feel anxious to refuse food and even their higher-value dog treats.”
So, be gentle with your dog and understand that everyone makes mistakes. If you get angry, remember that your dog understands what they did wrong, so, give them a little grace.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor’s in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
