Thirteen years is a long time to share a life with someone. I should know; I’ve now done it twice. Once with my ex-wife, and this time with my partner.
We didn’t do it because we had a head start on our New Year’s Eve, got drunk, and accidentally made it to the courthouse. No, no, no. This was a conscious, well-thought-out decision. Okay, maybe it wasn’t planned quite perfectly.
A few family members — those who would’ve liked to witness our union — weren’t able to make it because we made this decision in the moment: less than 3 weeks from “should we?” to “I do.”
I’m sure someone reading this article is sitting on his or her high horse seat of judgment thinking, “This will never last.” Really? In an age where heterosexuals run away from the altar and divorce rates are well over 50%, why is our marriage less likely to make it?
The divorce rate for same-sex couples is much lower than for straight couples, with it being reported as low as 1.1%.
Heck, we’ve laid the groundwork — dated, mated, co-habituated — and built a life together for over a decade. It’s clear we’re already pretty solid as a couple, so why get married now?
Here are 6 reasons I finally married my gay partner of 13 years:
1. I love him
I love him today more than I did yesterday, and the day before that, and nothing is ever going to change that love.
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2. I’m honoring my values of truth, honesty, and integrity
I can’t honestly, truthfully, and with integrity love my husband 100% if I’m not permitted to love him as my husband.
3. I’m standing up for what I believe
Love is love, and for me, that means if you love someone and you want to make a life with them, you should legally be able to do so, if that’s what you desire. Period.
4. I’m paying respect to all those who have fought for our rights as gays and lesbians to have this freedom to marry
This doesn’t mean I think you’re disrespectful if you don’t get married as a gay or lesbian. We all have the right to create our relationships as we see fit.
5. I want people to know that I value our relationship enough to publicly declare that he’s my guy
He’s not just the guy I call my partner, my lover, my co-parent, my rock; he’s my husband.
6. I want all the perks and benefits that come with, once again, being a married man from a legal and tax perspective
Now, if my list doesn’t tell you where my priorities are then you need to re-read it. The reason I got married was because I felt moved to say, “I do!” out of love.
Rick Clemons is a certified professional coach, speaker, author, and podcaster who inspires corporations, entrepreneurs, college and university students, and individuals to make their bold moves.
