Gay or straight, men have a way of playing games to protect our hunter/gatherer/master-of-our-domains mystique.Â
Yes, even you more effeminate men play these games. You just have the advantage of being able to call forth your inner Momma to bully, guilt, and pout your way into getting what you want.
Gay or straight, we men are being sent a huge wake-up call: Start dating like a grown-up instead of a four-year-old. Here’s how to do that.
Here are 5 pieces of relationship advice for straight guys, from gay guys who know better:
1. Stop pretending you’re someone you’re not
Just because she’s got you bowled over by her fabulous cleavage doesn’t mean you now need to enhance who you are with something that Mother Nature didn’t give you.Â
Trust me, gay guys are as guilty of lying as you straight men are at pretending to love sipping peach champagne with her while attending her best friend’s baby shower.
The sooner you stop pretending just for her, the less likely you are to have a welt the size of Africa across your cheek because “You lied. You lied, lied, lied!”
2. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
What gay men want isn’t just to see other men without clothes. No, no, no! It’s about letting you be seen; the real, raw, you that gets scared, worried, and frustrated. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or that your libido is shrinking. Puh-lease!
If there’s one thing that makes a man attractive, besides dropping his drawers, it’s when he lets others see him sweat. The reality of who you are as a man, underneath all that masculinity and posing, is so much more attractive than the Machismo mask you work so hard to hide behind.
Being vulnerable can be good for us. Research from the Bhakta Institute of Biotechnology reports that bottling up our emotions can lead to a decrease in happiness and mental health and that by opening up, we can find a sense of relief and release.
3. For the love of god, stop sleeping around
A majority of men are capable of sleeping around. Some of us wear that badge with honor;Â others hide it underneath the veil of, “Who me??” While it’s fun, gets our rocks off in five minutes, and makes us feel like “we are the conquerors,” the truth is, it ain’t pretty!
STDs aside, which by the way, 1 in 5 people have as the CDC reports, how turned on are you by a girl that you know sleeps around? Not much, huh?Â
The same applies to us men — gay or straight. The reputation of being a loose guy is just as demeaning for us as it is for women. Button up, use your talents wisely, and before you know it, your princess will show up.
4. Say what you mean, and mean what you say
Face it, the easiest way to get your jock in a mess is to say what you think your lady wants to hear. Don’t be gun shy just because your previous relationships have left you playing lonesome loser with your lizard for a week.Â
If she can’t handle the truth, then it should set you both free.
This still doesn’t permit you to just blurt out, “Yes that dress does make your butt look huge.” On the contrary, it permits you to start having an honest dialogue with her about how the two of you can communicate the good, the bad, and the ugly.Â
Pexels / Satumbo 9
Lay the ground rules, and saying what you mean and meaning what you say will become a piece of cake.
5. Don’t be a drama queen
I know. How dare I call any straight man a drama queen? Well buck up mister, we’ve all got one in us, and don’t think you don’t!Â
Every time you pout because your beloved 49ers missed that game-winning field goal, you’re a drama queen. The moment you let your little boy whiner begin to whimper because your gal’s Mother is coming to visit, you’re a drama queen.Â
And let’s not forget the ever-so-sad, “But it was my favorite pair of underwear that you threw away.”Â
Funny how you can’t stand the drama queen in your woman, but you’re just as much of one yourself.Â
Rick Clemons is a certified professional coach, speaker, author, and podcaster who inspires corporations, entrepreneurs, college and university students, and individuals to make their bold moves.Â
