As summer fades and the start of the new school year draws near, many parents find themselves torn between excitement and anxiety. Major transitions—whether it’s sending your child to kindergarten for the first time, watching them step into high school, or saying goodbye as they head off to university—often bring up a host of emotions. Parents worry about how their child will handle the changes, whether they’ll make friends, succeed academically, or simply adjust to a new routine. While these concerns are normal, the reality is that your child’s ability to thrive doesn’t rest on your anxiety. In fact, the more you focus on managing your own stress, the better positioned your child will be to navigate their new environment with confidence.
Transitions are hard for everyone involved, but they’re also a natural and necessary part of life. By acknowledging your own feelings, modeling confidence, and trusting in your child’s abilities, you can make these transitions smoother for both of you. Here are five strategies to approach back-to-school season with a sense of calm and clarity.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
It’s perfectly normal to feel nervous, anxious, or even a little overwhelmed as your child embarks on a new school journey. These emotions come from a place of love and concern, but suppressing them can actually make them feel stronger. The key to managing your feelings effectively is first to recognize them. Take a moment to identify what you’re experiencing, whether it’s worry about your child making friends or fear that they won’t adapt well to a new environment.
Feeling nervous is a natural part of transitions and growth—it doesn’t predict the future. Often, the moments in life that make us feel the most anxious also bring about the greatest opportunities for personal development. By embracing these emotions instead of fighting them, you give yourself permission to feel without letting those feelings control your behavior. Your job is not to eliminate the anxiety but to manage it in a way that allows both you and your child to move forward with confidence.
2. Focus on What Can Go Right
It’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of worry, imagining all the things that could go wrong as your child steps into a new school year. You may worry about their ability to make friends, their performance in the classroom, or how they’ll adjust to unfamiliar routines. While these thoughts are natural, they can also lead to unnecessary stress. Instead of focusing on worst-case scenarios, try to shift your perspective to what could go right.
Consider all the ways your child has successfully navigated challenges in the past. Maybe they’ve made new friends after a move, excelled in subjects they initially found difficult, or shown resilience in adapting to changes.
When you remind yourself of your child’s strengths and past successes, you can start to trust in their ability to handle whatever comes next. Even if they don’t get their favorite teacher or end up in a class with all their best friends, they’ll still have plenty of opportunities to grow, build new connections, and discover new interests.
Children are remarkably resilient, and they adapt in ways we often underestimate. By focusing on the positives, you not only ease your own worries but also help set the stage for your child’s success.
3. See Challenges as Opportunities for Growth
As parents, it’s natural to want to protect your child from difficulties. But shielding them from every challenge can actually hinder their development. Facing challenges—whether it’s navigating a difficult class, adjusting to a new school, or dealing with social dynamics—helps children build essential life skills like resilience, problem-solving, and independence. When your child encounters obstacles, rather than jumping in to fix things immediately, consider stepping back and giving them the space to figure things out on their own. This doesn’t mean abandoning them; it means offering support while allowing them to grow through experience.
One approach to reducing your involvement in your child’s anxiety is Eli Lebowitz’s SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) program. This program helps parents gradually reduce accommodations for their child’s anxiety—such as excessive reassurance or avoiding anxiety-provoking situations—so that children can confront their fears and build resilience. By stepping back and allowing your child to manage stressors, you encourage their long-term emotional growth and independence. Parents who are interested in this approach can explore Lebowitz’s book, Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD, which offers practical strategies for reducing accommodations while still supporting their child’s emotional needs.
4. Model Calmness and Confidence
Your child looks to you for cues on how to react to new situations. If you’re calm, they’re more likely to be calm, too. However, it’s not enough to simply appear calm—you also need to project confidence in your child’s abilities. Go beyond saying, “You’ve got this,” and remind your child of all the challenges they’ve already faced and conquered. Point out moments when they solved problems on their own, made new friends, or handled transitions with resilience. These reminders help reinforce their self-confidence and remind them that they are more capable than they might realize.
In addition to reinforcing their strengths, talk with your child about what’s exciting about the upcoming school year. What new subjects will they get to explore? What extracurricular activities are they interested in? Who are the new people they might meet?
By helping them focus on the possibilities and adventures ahead, you’re shifting their perspective from fear to excitement. When your child sees you not only staying calm but also expressing genuine enthusiasm for their new experiences, it boosts their confidence and helps them approach the transition with a more positive mindset.
5. Trust Your Child and Refocus Your Own Attention
At some point, you need to trust that your child is capable of navigating their school experience on their own. By stepping back and giving them the space to grow, you’re allowing them to develop critical life skills, like independence and self-reliance. However, this doesn’t mean you should ignore your own needs during this time. In fact, one of the best ways to support your child is by taking care of yourself. When anxious thoughts begin to spiral, practice refocusing your attention on the present moment. Engage in simple, grounding activities like organizing your home, preparing meals, or tackling small projects.
If your anxiety feels intense, more active and engaging pursuits can help. Exercise, yoga, or going for a walk in nature can release tension and clear your mind. Research shows that spending time in nature has powerful calming effects, so even a brief stroll through a park can make a difference. Refocusing your energy on your own well-being doesn’t just help you—it also models healthy coping strategies for your child. The more present and centered you are, the more space your child has to thrive.
Conclusion: Supporting Both Parent and Child Through Transitions
School transitions are a natural part of growing up, and while they may be stressful, they’re also opportunities for growth for both you and your child. The key to managing these changes lies in prioritizing your own mental health. When you focus on your well-being—whether through self-care, acknowledging your emotions, or practicing mindfulness—you set the tone for how your child approaches their own challenges. Children are incredibly attuned to their parents’ emotional states. If you are calm, grounded, and confident, your child will pick up on those cues and feel more secure in their ability to navigate new situations. In this way, your mental health directly impacts your child’s mental health, creating a stable foundation for them to thrive.
Stepping into a new school year with confidence and excitement—every transition is a chance to grow.
Source: August de Richelieu/Pexels
The more effectively you manage your own stress, the more freedom your child has to develop independence and resilience. Remember, school transitions are their opportunity to grow—not yours to control. By balancing support with trust and giving them the space to handle challenges on their own, you’re setting both of you up for success.
Your ability to remain calm and present provides your child with a powerful example of how to face life’s inevitable uncertainties with strength and grace. As you focus on maintaining your own well-being, you create an environment in which your child can flourish this school year.
