Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and take yourself back to the exact moment your partner dumped you. Do you remember the first thoughts that popped into your head?
Did they sound something like this?
- “I’m never going to let myself fall in love again. This hurts so much.”
- “He promised me unconditional love forever. I wonder what I did wrong.”
- “He was my soulmate. Nobody will ever love me like he did.” (Let’s hope not!)
Does anything sound familiar? I thought so. The first one was exactly what I told myself. Now, take another deep breath, hit the erase button in your mind, and pay close attention.
I’m about to give you the exact formula for unconditional love that almost guarantees you will attract the perfect future partner, fall in love again, and experience unconditional love faster than you ever thought possible. You must follow this plan exactly.
Would that make you happy? Great, let’s get started.
Here’s a fool-proof tactic for avoiding heartbreak, as revealed by a hypnotist:
1. Grab your journal and a pen, and create a perfect partner list
Start with your top 10 “must have” qualities and attributes in an ideal partner. Then, add 10 “nice to have” qualities to the list. Complete the list by adding 5-10 qualities and attributes that are your deal breakers (the qualities you absolutely can’t or refuse to overlook).
Make three copies of your list. Put one in your purse, give one to your best friend, and hide the third one in the same place you hide your valuable documents.Â
Daniel Hoz via Shutterstock
2. Create a vision board
Grab 5-10 of your favorite magazines, a pair of scissors, some tape, and a 16 X 20 piece of construction paper. You’re going to create a vision board, which will serve as your “Unconditional Love Blueprint.”
Your job is to capture the pictures, headlines, and stories in the magazines that create the “Awwww, I want that feeling” response when you look through the magazines. Be sure and include images of couples that look how you want to look when you’re in a relationship again, saying and doing the things you want to say and do in love.
Cut them out and place them on your vision board. There’s no right or wrong way to do this, just make sure you get it done.
3. Create your unconditional love language list
Make a list of at least 20 loving statements your “Perfect Partner” will be using in your relationship that make you feel special, loved unconditionally, and appreciated for being you.
Make 4 copies of your list. Put one in your purse, give one to your best friend, and hide the third one in the place you hide your valuable documents. Take the fourth copy and cut the statements into individual pieces.
Grab a piece of tape and secure each of the loving statements with tape around your house in full view. Be sure and put one on each of your mirrors, above your computer screen, and on your toilet lid. You want to make sure you see them everywhere.Â
4. Know how to recognize healthy love by practicing it
Anyone who has experienced being “dumped” by a partner who promised unconditional love forever, often experiences a loss of confidence, self-esteem, and ability to trust yourself and others. This can cause betrayal trauma, as described in a 2003 study.
The loss of those qualities, at the very least, creates a self-fulfilling prophecy and places you at risk of attracting someone like you who is also experiencing the same lack of confidence, self-esteem, and ability to trust. It’s certainly not the best formula for attracting the perfect partner, falling in love again, experiencing unconditional love again, and creating a healthy, lasting relationship.
What have you been saying about yourself and how have you been treating yourself since the breakup? Have you been loving yourself unconditionally or beating yourself up? Have you been focusing on meeting the perfect partner to attract potential partners with the exact qualities you want?
You have to embody, act like, do, and say all of the things you pulled together in steps 1-4. Practice providing the unconditional love and support you want and deserve for yourself, so you’ll know exactly what it feels like and recognize when the perfect partner shows up in your life.
I know I didn’t at first after being dumped. I remember kissing a lot of frogs and wondering if my “pick-a-mate meter” was permanently broken. That is until I decided I was sick of feeling the loss of confidence, self-esteem, and unconditional love.
I decided I was worth it and deserved it, completed steps 1-4 above, and started treating myself differently.
5. Give yourself unconditional love
What I didn’t realize then that I know now, is I was teaching others how to treat me, building confidence, self-esteem, and trust in myself, modeling how to thrive following adversity for my son, and practicing how to love unconditionally until I attracted the perfect healthy partner for me, which I did.
Truth is, you will have confidence, self-esteem, and the ability to trust yourself and others if you love yourself unconditionally, as shown in 2023 research. You’ll be full, have enough to share, and can pass it along. When that happens, I can almost guarantee you’ll attract the perfect partner, fall in love again, and experience unconditional love despite being dumped. Make sense?
Nancy Philpott is an RN, pain relief coach, cannabis educator, and chief transformation officer for the Compassionate Care Project who is passionate about helping women caregivers and their daughters connect with cutting-edge information and resources to relieve chronic stress and pain and resuscitate health.Â
