By: Alex Brown
Dirty pickup lines aren’t just for teenagers. In fact, they’re a great way to break the ice, adding fun and spontaneity to your dating patois, whether you use them ironically or not.
Here are 80+ to try out this weekend. Be forewarned: It’s 2024. These aren’t your grandparents’ pickup lines.
Table of Contents
Dirty Pickup Lines
- Are you for sale? Because I can’t wait to close the deal with you.
- I don’t have an undergraduate degree, but I have a Master of Physical Education.
- I need a pair of kneepads because I keep falling for you.
- Are you a movie trailer? Because I know you’ll be coming soon.
- Do you have a court date? Because you have fine written all over you.
- You’re the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life . . . . I want you . . . . Whoops, did I say that out loud?
Using dirty pickup lines is not about being vulgar or tasteless; it’s about being silly and having fun. They’re particularly useful on Tinder. However, if you use your dirty pickup lines on the wrong lady and she shuts you right down, don’t be a d—. Just take your naughty pickup lines elsewhere.
Dirty Pickup Lines to Use on Him
- Aside from being a panty dropper, what else do you do for work?
- Am I supposed to sign for your package?
- Would you consider yourself a haunted house? Because I’ll probably scream when you’re inside me.
- I’m not talking about Subway when I say I could go for a “footlong.”
- Call me by my nickname, Dishes, because I want you to get me wet before you do me.
- Call me a beaver because I want your wood.
- My health specialist just informed me that I have a serious vitamin D deficiency. Want to come home with me to fix it?
A dirty pickup line can quickly turn a dull conversation with a guy into a fun, flirty, and exciting interaction, even when texting. This kind of exchange can make things more interesting because it allows you to escape the boring “interview” questions when getting to know him.
Also, remember that these are supposed to be ridiculous; that’s what makes them fun.
Dirty Pickup Lines to Use on Her
- Do you have insurance? Because we’re smashing tonight.
- It’s strange that in school, all I wanted was A’s, but with you, all I want is an F.
- Your body is a wonderland; what’s the price of admission?
- Did you send the RSVP to the party in your legs yet?
- Are you a carpenter? Because you’re giving me wood.
- Roses are red; violets are blue. I suck at poetry; get in my bed.
- The human body has 206 bones; would you like to make it 207?
- When she asks, “Do you have a girlfriend?” Respond with, “I always have room for one more.”
A few caveats to dirty pickup lines: First, say the lines with confidence and conviction. Second, use them sparingly. You may give the wrong impression if you use them too often. And third, be sure to read the room.
It’s probably not a good idea to use a dirty pickup line on a girl you like at a friend’s baby’s christening. They’re obviously NSFW, but if you need me to tell you that, it’s time to stop eating paint chips.
Naughty Pickup Lines
- What’s your name again? I just want to remember what I’ll be screaming tonight.
- I don’t care about going down in history; I want to go down on you.
- Just an FYI: I’m psychic, and we’re hooking up tonight.
- I have three special talents: I can make six inches disappear in three different ways. Pick one . . . .
- Are you telekinetic? Because you just made a certain part of me move without touching it.
- I’m a math prodigy. According to my calculations, we can add a room with a sturdy bed, subtract our clothes, and divide your legs to equal one hell of a good time.
You can use sexy pickup lines to avoid those boring run-of-the-mill conversation starters most people have when first meeting. Throwing in the occasional sexy pickup is a small thing that can have a big impact on how a dating prospect sees you.
Freaky Pickup Lines
- I’m undergoing intense training and preparation to become an astronaut, and the first mission I’ve committed to is exploring Uranus.
- I’m hungry. I could go for some chicken right now. Do you have any? You don’t? I’m flexible; how about cock instead?
- I’m not very disciplined; I think I need to be spanked more often.
- If I were an English professor, I’d rearrange the alphabet to put U between F and CK.
- Are you a DNA strand? Because I can see you unzipping my genes later.
- I heard you like sports. Want to come back to my place for a session of the indoor Olympics?
Everyone has an inner freak waiting to come out and play. Freaky pickup lines can be a fun way to let your freak flag fly and find that special person who will salute it.
Spicy Pickup Lines
- Okay, I’m here. What are your last two wishes?
- I have an aching headache. I’ve heard that the best cure for headaches is wild, passionate sex. Want to go upstairs and create a remedy?
- Are your legs sore at all? Don’t worry; as long as I have a face, you’ll always have someplace to sit.
- You’re like Medusa; I’m rock-hard because of you.
- We have to do our part to fight climate change. Let’s shower together to save water.
- I’m not a meteorologist; however, I am expecting a couple more inches tonight.
- Are you a firefighter? Because you found me hot but left me wet.
- The single reason I would ever kick you out of bed would be to have my way with you on the floor.
- I’m craving to kiss your beautiful, luscious lips . . . and then afterward, the ones on your face.
Spicy pickup lines are great because of their utility. You can use them when first meeting someone, while you’re casual dating, or even if you’re in a relationship.
Hot Pickup Lines
- Are you an iceberg? Because you make me want to go down.
- I want to put you on like sunglasses . . . a leg over each ear.
- Your hair would look really good . . . in my lap.
- If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
- My magical watch is telling me that you’re not wearing panties. Wait, you are? Oh, it must be an hour ahead.
- When do you get off? Can I watch?
- Your clothes are making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. Mind if we take them off?
- I’m an adventure seeker; can I explore your cave?
- You’re not a fan of casual sex? No problem, let me put on my tux, and we’ll make it more formal.
Hot pickup lines can stir your lust and awaken your passion for someone. The best part is that they can be used in many contexts to build sexual anticipation and keep your target eagerly awaiting your next date night.
Nasty Pickup Lines
- I know you don’t go to church often. But you’ll be on your knees tonight.
- I would share a joke with you about my penis; however, it’s too long.
- I’m not a windshield repairman, but I can fill in your crack.
- I want you to poke my belly button . . . from the inside.
- You look amazing in that dress, but I think you’d look even better in your birthday suit
Nasty pickup lines are a lot like freaky pickup lines. However, the key difference is that nasty pickup lines are best suited for when you’re a bit more familiar with the person you plan to use them on.
Horny Pickup Lines
- Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.
- I’m good with numbers. I’ll prove it to you; give me yours.
- Hi there, I’m Mr. Right. Were you looking for me?
- Do you like games? Yes? Awesome! Let’s have a round of hide the salami.
- Touch my shirt. It’s made of the finest, most exceptional fabric; they call it boyfriend material.
- If being in love was a felony, I’d make you my partner in crime.
- That’s a beautiful dress. Can I talk you out of it?
- Was your father a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
- Yeah, I’d definitely have sex with me if I were you.
Let’s face it: Sometimes you just want it, and you want it now. You can communicate your desire through these horny pickup lines.
Risky Pickup Lines
- You look chilly. Would you like to use me as a blanket?
- You have the look of a cold, refreshing glass of water, and I’m incredibly thirsty.
- This is not a beer belly; it’s a fuel reservoir that powers this love machine.
- Are you employed at Dick’s? Because it seems like you’re sporting the equipment.
- Tie your shoes up; I don’t want you falling for anybody else.
- I’m like a snowflake: stunningly beautiful, one of a kind, and you can feel how wet I am with a single touch.
Risky pickup lines are used for the sole purpose of demonstrating confidence in a fun and flirty way. The risqué aspect of these pickup lines comes from the absurdity of the content. However, when said the right way at the right time, well-placed dirty pickup lines can be incredibly effective for building attraction and having fun.
Seductive Pickup Lines for Him or Her
- Am I on a Home Improvement episode? Because I don’t think I’ve ever seen hard wood like that in my life.
- It’s often said that kissing is the language of love; would you mind having a conversation with me?
- Today, I was feeling off, but you just turned me back on.
- I’m a burglar . . . and I’m going to break through your back door.
If you’re feeling particularly sensuous, the seductive pickup line is the ideal choice. These are great because of the innuendo. You’re saying what you want without actually saying what you want. As a result, the recipient is left to read between the lines, imagining all the dirty details.
Conclusion
The best thing about dirty pickup lines is that you have so many variations to choose from. As long as you know how to read a room, you can pick one best suited for the situation. The rest is up to you.
I can give you the supplies, but if you’re to be a pickup artist, the delivery is up to you. May the odds be ever in your favor.
Need some more tips and advice on Being in a Relationship? Check link here!
