What’s the most attractive language to you? Is it French? Italian? Maybe you have a thing for the way Spanish rolls off the tongue?
Whatever your answer to the question, you’re probably mistaken either way. As you read every word on this page, you’re going to discover a life-altering concept that will give you a ridiculously unfair advantage over most men in the dating world.Â
The most attractive language isn’t French, it isn’t Italian, and it isn’t Spanish — it’s body language:
1. Body language is the most vital aspect of communication
Pull up a chair and hear me out. Years and years of research show body language is by far the most vital aspect of communication. Knowing how to read and display proper body language effectively will transform us into master communicators possessing god-like powers with women and that, my friends, is attractive!
According to Kevin Hogan, world-renowned author and expert on this subject, two paramount elements of body language are physical features (both changeable and unchangeable) and gestures.
2. Physical features open the door
“The first impression is the only impression.” We’ve all heard something similar to this time and time again, I’m sure. But that doesn’t make it any less true. It makes it even truer. There is no way around the fact that what we look like speaks to everyone in the environment.
Just think of the first thing that goes off in your mind when you see an attractive woman. You probably don’t say, “Wow, I love how she carries that purse,” or “The way she pushes that grocery cart is attractive to me.” Instead, it’s more like, “Dang, she’s kinda cute!”
The point here is most dating decisions are made with physical attractiveness at the top of the checklist. This holds for both men and women, although women place less significance on physical features.
Staras via Shutterstock
Hogan states that 89% of first dates progress to second dates because of physical attractiveness that’s a huge percentage!
Now, there are ways you can change your physical attractiveness if you have the paper of course. But, for those of us who don’t have unlimited funds, we’re not out of luck, so don’t worry. There are other, less expensive ways to enhance physical attractiveness and ultimately body language.
One way could be to make sure we look our absolute best whenever we step out. And I’m not talking about getting suited and booted every day. But we should always dress to the occasion.
What I am talking about is our upkeep and hygiene. Keep our hair clean and neat (facial hair too). Keep our bodies clean. Look respectable at the very least. Fair enough?
3. Gestures hold the interest
The gesture that plays the biggest role in body language is eye contact, as supported by a review of research on gaze and eye contact. Let me explain what I mean by eye contact.
Eye contact isn’t just gazing mindlessly into someone else’s eyes, that’s kinda creepy. The area within the eye-nose triangle is where we want to focus most of the eye contact.
As a general rule, eye contact should be maintained about 80% of the time with your date. The best way to do this is to keep contact for 7 to 14 seconds and then away for about 3 to 6 seconds.
The most powerful indicator of liking is realized while using eye contact and that indicator is pupil expansion. That’s right. A 2016 study demonstrated that pupil size growth is the best way to know if the person whose eyes we’re looking into actually likes us. When a person finds another attractive or appealing in some way, the size of their pupils grows.
4. Smiling eases things along
Smiling is another fantastic predictor of liking. We should genuinely smile as much as possible while on a date, this does not mean having a “pudding face” all night!
Smiling displays happiness and makes us more pleasing to be around. It’s crucial to note I said genuinely smile because anyone and everyone can spot fake smiles when they are right in front of them.
It’s also important we know what to do with our hands while we’re out on a date. Our hands will speak wonders about your comfort level when with someone.
Let’s say you’re out to dinner with a woman you’ve been eager to date for a while now. You’re so nervous and clueless, that you start to fidget and play with your fingers. Five minutes later, you start biting your nails. This will make her very uncomfortable.
If you can’t keep your hands separate or if you don’t know what the heck to do with them, just cup the right hand downward into the left one.
Imagine how much more smooth and charismatic we can be with brilliant body language. Whether you have an American Express Card Black Card, or no credit card, increasing physical appearance is well within your means. You pair that with proper use of gestures and you’re golden. It’s not nearly as hard as it sounds, I promise.
Pay attention to body language and respond with precision, you’ve got it in you, I know it. Body language can turn Fogel into McLovin (if you haven’t seen the movie Superbad, you probably won’t get the joke.)
The next time you’re in the field (meaning, where women are), try this concept. But, make sure you are cleanly shaved and appropriately dressed.
Natie Ollie is a dating and relationship coach.Â
