Recently, vice presidential candidate Tim Walz and his wife Gwen shared with People magazine that their son has a non-verbal learning disability (NVLD). What does that mean? From the name, you’d think kids were non-speaking and had learning disabilities, but this is a misconception.
Children with NVLD have strong verbal skills and relatively weak skills when it comes to non-verbal or visual information. NVLD is not a medical diagnosis, so most healthcare professionals have never heard of it. It’s not a learning disability, although some NVLD children do have learning disabilities in subjects. Walz describes his son as having had to deal with anxiety, and that’s not surprising for a boy who’s processing information differently. The world isn’t designed for children (or adults) who think differently.
Children with NVLD usually read and speak early and are often thought to be precocious. As Walz shared, his son is very bright and hyper-aware of details; kids with NVLD notice things others miss because, to use the metaphor of missing the forest for the trees, they’re focused on every tree rather than seeing the forest. They often have a strong verbal memory and remember facts well, so in elementary school, where learning is fact-based and structured, they do very well.
As they move up to middle school, however, more of the reading and ideas are inferential, meaning that they aren’t stated directly and must be inferred. If you read The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, it doesn’t say how Tom felt about Huckleberry Finn. Children with NVLD tend to think literally, so these kinds of inferences can be very difficult. They also can have trouble prioritizing ideas because they’re noticing every detail, so if asked to write an essay on an open-ended question, they might write everything they know or not write at all because they’re confused about what’s expected. They can also miss instructions from a teacher if some directions are inferred (how much to do, where to focus) unless the information is stated clearly.
Since these children are so articulate and bright, these difficulties can be mistaken for having a “bad attitude,” an unwillingness to work, or a lack of interest. A child might not do something, missing that it was expected, and find someone frustrated and angry with them. Parents sometimes find that trying to explain their children’s processing is taken as making excuses. In fact, these children want nothing more than to do well and be successful.
Walz describes how his son spent time by himself and was less involved with classmates, which is typical of children with NVLD. They often miss the cues that constitute much of social communication. They are confused by social interactions and seem “different” rather than fitting in. Despite this, like all of us, they really want friends.
Because they misunderstand social signals, they can be manipulated—one boy I worked with who had an NVLD profile allowed another boy to “charge him” candy for introducing him to other children in his new class, even though the introductions never happened. The same boy wanted to play with other children but couldn’t understand why they didn’t want to play the game he’d invented; he missed “playground politics.” With coaching in therapy and from his parents, he was able to make friends and become comfortable and confident in his talents, but it took time and some help.
Children with NVLD can have trouble with transitions and fine motor skills, and often have problems with athletics and balance. Gym class can be challenging—imagine having difficulty with motor skills and visual-spatial awareness and having to play basketball where you need to dribble and, at the same time, estimate where teammates are going while everyone is moving. This can be ego-crushing for some if they’re picked last for teams, and if gym coaches don’t understand their challenges. Having friends in gym helps, and this can be facilitated by an astute coach.
Children with NVLD are among those being called “neurodiverse” because they process information differently. Neurodiversity can include NVLD, autism, sensory processing issues, learning issues, and more—there are many individuals who take in ideas and respond in different ways than expected. Sometimes, other children, teachers, and family members don’t understand that there are different ways of processing, and they react negatively, which is why children who are neurodivergent face anxiety and threats to their self-esteem.
As Walz said, NVLD can be a superpower as well. The child who notices everything has a strong memory, good intelligence, and a deep focus, and can have insights and come up with ideas that are out-of-the-box and creative. They thrive with clarity in communication and structure, and often pursue their interests, developing talents, skills, and a depth of knowledge.
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Walz and his wife, Gwen, are terrific examples of parents of a neurodivergent child doing it right. They understand their son’s experience and value his strengths. Rather than being defensive about stigmas that exist about being different, they come forward with a positive attitude. Their pride in their son sets an example that being neurodivergent is different, but not less.
