8 Signs You May Be Biromantic

Have you been experiencing romantic attraction towards more than one gender? If you are unfamiliar with the term “biromantic,” this may feel confusing for you. People who are biromantic experience romantic attraction to people of multiple genders. These feelings are independent of their sexual orientation. 

If you are biromantic, you may feel drawn to form deep emotional bonds with people, regardless of their gender identity. This article aims to help you understand what it means to be biromantic and offer advice on living and thriving as a biromantic person.

The Biromantic Basics  

It’s crucial to understand that there’s no blueprint for biromanticism. However, you may be biromantic if you find these eight signs relatable and have struggled with identifying your romantic identity. 

• You are attracted to multiple genders: Experiencing romantic attraction to various genders is a tell-tale sign of being biromantic. It means you desire deep emotional bonds with individuals, regardless of gender identity.
• You have confusing feelings: You may feel confused about your feelings due to societal expectations and the lack of awareness around diverse romantic orientations. Feeling uncertain about your emotions or struggling to understand your romantic preferences can indicate that you might be biromantic.
• You have romantic fantasies involving multiple people: If you find yourself fantasizing about romantic relationships with people of diverse genders, it could be a sign that you’re biromantic. This can include daydreaming about dating or forming emotional connections with people of various gender identities.
• You feel a strong emotional pull to people of different genders: Biromantic people often form strong emotional connections with people of different genders, enjoying their company and engaging in meaningful conversations. If you notice that you develop deep friendships or emotional bonds with people across the gender spectrum, it could be a sign that you’re biromantic.
• You’ve had romantic relationships with multiple genders: Having had romantic relationships with people of more than one gender might indicate that you’re biromantic. By reflecting on your past relationships and examining how gender may have influenced your attractions, you can gain a better understanding of your romantic orientation.
• You feel a sense of belonging in biromantic communities: If you feel welcome and accepted in these communities, it could be a sign that you are biromantic.
• You have flexible romantic preferences: Biromantic people may experience fluctuations in their romantic preferences over time, with attraction to different genders changing or intensifying throughout their lives. If you notice that your romantic interests are fluid and evolving, it could mean that you’re biromantic.
• You relate with biromantic stories and experiences: If you find yourself relating to biromantic narratives and feeling a sense of connection, it could be another sign that you’re biromantic. Engaging with biromantic literature, films, or online content and identifying with the characters and experiences portrayed can help you better understand your romantic orientation.

Still, Biromanticism Is Rarely Obvious

There’s no clear-cut way to determine whether you are biromantic. For Uchechi Okafor, a Nigerian immigrant living in New York, things begin to click after going down an internet rabbit hole on diverse romantic relationships. 

“I struggled to maintain romantic relationships for a long time because I felt such strong emotional connections with my female friends. While I dated men, I often had what I now recognize to be inappropriate relationships with women. I’d be confused when a boyfriend got jealous of my relationship with a female friend because I refused to acknowledge that many of these friendships bordered on romance. 

I couldn’t quite understand why I was emotionally and romantically attracted to both men and women, mainly because I didn’t necessarily feel sexually attracted to women. I felt a lot of confusion about my wants and desires. I often doubted myself, thinking there was something wrong with me. It didn’t feel natural to be so romantically attracted to women. 

One night I did an internet deep dive. I went down a rabbit hole of Reddit threads and many online forums and discovered the term ‘biromantic.’ It was like a light bulb came on in my head; everything suddenly made sense. I spent hours reading about people’s experiences, and it felt like I was the one who had written some of the entries. It was just so eerily familiar but, at the same time, incredibly validating.

I was quick to embrace being biromantic, and it has been a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance since then. Dating is less confusing now but a lot harder. I try to be upfront about who I am; sometimes, people don’t understand. They make me feel selfish or indecisive. I also opened up to my very traditional family, and they’ve had difficulty accepting who I am—fearing that I’ll marry a woman. 

Thankfully I’ve found a sense of belonging and connection with other people who share my experiences. Being open about my biromanticism has allowed me to connect with others who can relate, and it has strengthened my relationships. I’ve realized that my romantic orientation is valid and part of who I am. I’ve also learned the importance of self-compassion and self-love in embracing my romantic identity.”

Uchechi isn’t alone. It has been four years since she came out as biromantic and became an active member of biromantic communities in her city—meeting and connecting with people who share the same romantic orientation she does. She tells of the growing numbers within these communities and how, over the years, that has contributed to her feeling comfortable about being biromantic. 

How to Navigate and Support Biromantic Relationships

Open and honest communication. This is critical in any relationship, but especially important in this case. Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences as a biromantic person with your partner to build trust and understanding. It’s important to encourage your partner to communicate their needs and boundaries so that you have a better experience with each other.

Establish and respect personal boundaries. Doing this in your relationship is the next most critical thing. Discuss your comfort levels, expectations, and concerns with your partner to ensure a healthy, supportive dynamic. It’s essential to keep in mind that boundaries may shift with time, and it’s crucial to have regular conversations about them.

Offer emotional support to one another. Do your best to empathize with the unique experiences and challenges that may arise from being biromantic. Create a safe space to share your feelings openly and without judgment.

Educate yourself. Making sure you and your partner are educated about biromanticism and the diverse spectrum of romantic orientations is also essential. This knowledge can help you both better understand and navigate your relationship. Read books, attend workshops, or join support groups to understand biromantic experiences and challenges better.

Practice patience and understanding. Navigating a biromantic relationship can be challenging, especially if you or your partner are still discovering your romantic orientation. Practice patience and understanding as you both grow and learn together. Embrace and celebrate your biromantic identity, both individually and as a couple. Recognize the unique strengths and perspectives that being biromantic brings to your relationship and use them to strengthen your bond.

Connect with other biromantic people. Connecting with other biromantic people and communities, both online and in-person, provides a support network that can help you and your partner feel understood. Within those communities, you can share your experiences and learn from others who might be going through the same thing.

Trust is key. Finally, while trust is crucial in any relationship, it can be especially important in a biromantic relationship. Be open and honest with your partner about your feelings, experiences, and concerns. Demonstrating vulnerability and transparency can help build a solid foundation of trust and understanding in your relationship.

Where Can You Find Resources?

If you’ve just discovered you are biromantic, you may be searching the Internet for resources to help you understand your feelings. Here are the best places to find information on biromanticism. 

• Online communities: Join online forums or social media groups dedicated to biromantic people to connect with others who share your experiences, exchange advice, and find support. The Trevor Project and The Bisexual Resource Center are great places to start.
• Local LGBTQ+ organizations: Reach out to local LGBTQ+ organizations and inquire about resources, support groups, or events focused on biromanticism and other romantic orientations.
• Speak to a therapist: If you’re struggling or need additional support, consider speaking to a mental health professional who has experience in LGBTQ+ issues.
• Books and media: Explore books, movies, podcasts, or documentaries that discuss biromantic experiences and romantic orientation diversity to better understand and connect with your identity.

Encourage your friends and family members to become allies to learn more about biromanticism and support the community. Share your resources and information with them, and help raise awareness and challenge harmful misconceptions about what it means to be biromantic.