By: Patrick Okoi
You’re here because something is off with your new guy. He’s giving you signs he wants you to stop texting him, and you don’t know what to do.
Oh, honey. Let’s dive into the world of mixed signals, ghosting, and the BS “I’m just really busy right now” excuse.
1. The One-Word Reply Wonder
You: “Hey! How was your day? I just saw this hilarious meme and thought of you.”
Him: “k.”R
The infamous one-word reply. It’s about as exciting as watching paint dry.
When a man is interested, when your attraction is mutual, he’ll engage in conversation. He’ll ask questions, share details, and use complete sentences.
But if you’re getting nothing but “yeah,” “ok,” or the dreaded “lol,” odds are he’s not interested.
2. The Vanishing Act
One minute he’s there, the next — poof! He’s gone faster than a bottle of rosé in summer.
Congratulations! You’re dating Houdini. Or rather, Houdini’s ghost.
Ghosting has become so common in dating that it’s practically an Olympic sport. Research by Daraj et al. in the journal Encyclopedia reports that 25% of people have experienced ghosting.[1]
Sometimes I guy will text you every day and suddenly disappear. If you’re constantly left on “read” or your messages seem to be disappearing into the void, it’s time to stop sending out search parties and accept that he’s not coming back.
3. The Excuse Factory
If this guy had a dollar for every excuse he’s given, he’d be giving Jeff Bezos a run for his money.
“Sorry I was in the shower.” For three days!? Unless he’s auditioning for the role of prune, I don’t think so.
If you’re getting more reasons why he can’t text than actual texts, it’s time to close up shop and stop buying what he is selling.
4. The Delayed Response
I hate it when I’m watching a movie and the audio is just slightly off from the video. You know what I’m talking about. That’s what texting with this guy feels like. You sent your message at two p.m. on Monday. His response: 11:30 p.m. on Thursday.
In the words of Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City, “I couldn’t help but wonder . . . was he really busy, or was I just not a priority?”
Spoiler alert: If he wanted to text you, he would.
No one is too busy to send a quick message, not even the president. And last time I checked, this guy isn’t running a country (just an underperforming fantasy football league).
5. The Group Chat Enthusiast
Let’s say you’re in a group chat with him and mutual friends. Suddenly, he’s chattier than a caffeinated squirrel. But in your private chat? Crickets.
This behavior is about as subtle as a neon sign saying, “I’M NOT INTERESTED.” If he’s more responsive to the group chat than to you one-on-one, it’s time to take the hint.
As the classic romance comedy He’s Just Not That Into You advises, “If a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen, no matter what.” (But, like, not in a creepy stalker way.)
6. The Emoji Overload
You: “Hey, want to grab coffee sometime?”
Him: “👍☺️✌️”
Congratulations you’ve just received a message from a 12 year old trapped in a grown man’s body. If his responses look like he’s a toddler who got hold of the nanny’s emoji keyboard, it’s a sign he’s putting in minimal effort. (It’s also a sign he may be illiterate, but that’s a topic for another day.)
While emojis can be fun and expressive, they shouldn’t be the entirety of his conversation. He’s basically saying he’d rather play Pictionary than connect with you.
7. The Selective Responder
You’ve noticed a pattern. When you text about casual, no-strings-attached topics, he responds faster than you can say “Netflix and chill.”
But the moment you bring up anything serious or relationship oriented? Suddenly he’s busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger.
This selective response is his way of keeping you at arm’s length. He’s interested in the fun, casual stuff, but anything that requires emotional investment? He’s out.
8. The Copy-Paste King
Have you ever had the sneaking suspicion that his messages sound familiar? robotic? formulaic? Like maybe you’ve read them before? Ruh-roh, you’ve caught yourself a Copy-Paste King!
This charming specimen saves time by sending the same generic messages to multiple women. It’s efficient, I’ll give him that.
But it’s about as personal as a form letter from the DMV. If his messages lack personalization, he’s likely sent them to multiple women.
9. The Dry Texter
Having a conversation with this guy is like trying to squeeze water from a stone. His texts are so dry they make the Sahara look like a water park.
You: “I just got back from an amazing trip to Japan! The culture was fascinating, and the food was incredible!”
Him: “Cool.”
Ugh, rude.
If you find yourself constantly carrying the conversation, it’s time to put it down. An interested man would want to know more, ask questions, and share his own experiences.
If he’s not doing that, he’s probably hoping you’ll get the hint and stop texting.
10. The Midnight Texter
Ah, the midnight texter. He’s quieter than a mouse during daylight hours, but come one a.m., suddenly he’s more talkative than a parrot on espresso.
This behavior screams “booty call” louder than a foghorn.
If he only values your company in the wee hours, it’s time to set your phone to “do not disturb” and get some quality sleep instead.
11. The Plans Dodger
You’ve suggested meeting up more times than you can count. But this guy is dodging your invitations like Neo dodging bullets in The Matrix.
“Sorry, I’m busy this weekend.”
“Oh, next week doesn’t work either.”
“Maybe sometime in the next decade?” Hahaha.
If he’s constantly avoiding concrete plans, he’s not playing hard to get. He’s just playing.
Throw out your Nikes because you’re just not doing it anymore.
In today’s digital world, people are more connected than ever. Which makes it all the more obvious when someone is deliberately avoiding you.
You’ve noticed he’s active on Instagram, liking posts and commenting on stories. He’s tweeting up a storm. He’s even updating LinkedIn. But your messages? They’re being sent to a black hole.
People’s actions are more revealing than their words. His actions are shouting from the rooftop that he’s just not into you.
13. The Conversation Killer
You’re trying to keep the conversation going, but this guy is shutting it down.
You: “What do you think about the new Marvel movie?”
Him: “It was okay.”
You: “Oh, what was your favorite part?”
Him: “I don’t remember.”
If talking to him feels like pulling teeth without anesthesia, it’s time to stop playing dentist and find someone who wants to engage in conversation.
Remember, it’s not that you’re bad at texting, you just picked a guy who thinks “K” is a complete sentence.
14. The Vague Responder
Vagueness is this guy’s middle name. His responses are so noncommittal they make politicians sound straightforward.
You: “Want to grab dinner on Friday?”
Him: “Maybe, we’ll see.”
This level of vagueness isn’t mysterious or intriguing. It’s frustrating, and a clear sign he’s not interested. Science has proof!
Leora Tub, associate professor of psychology at Pace University, surveyed over 200 adults and found that “how partners texted was more important than how frequent they texted.” In fact, results of her study showed “that people who described their partner as having a similar texting style to themselves reported greater relationship satisfaction.”[2]
15. The Text Procrastinator
Ah! That impulse to delete old emails when you’re actually meant to be doing your taxes. That’s how this babe feels about texting you back.
He’ll get around to it…eventually. Maybe. Probably not. But hey, at least your message is keeping his other unread texts company.
Research by Agarwal et al. published in the Aslib Journal of Information Management found that nonresponse behavior is moderated by how powerful the relationship is.[3]
Let’s be real, no matter how new a relationship is, there’s a fine line between playful procrastination and outright rudeness. If you’re on the receiving end of consistent ghosting, it might be time to bounce.
16. The Emoji Downgrader
At first, his texts were full of heart-eye emojis and kissy faces. Now you’re lucky if you get a thumbs up. This emoji downgrade is the texting equivalent of going from a five-star hotel to a motel with hourly rates.
People tell you who they are through their actions. In this case, his emojis are painting a pretty clear picture, and it’s not a Picasso.
17. The Topic Avoider
You’ve tried bringing up deeper topics, hoping to connect on a more meaningful level. But this babe avoids serious conversations like a cat avoids water.
You: “What are your thoughts on the current political climate?”
Him: “Did you see that funny cat video I sent you?”
I mean, it’s not as if we don’t all love funny cat videos. But if he’s constantly steering the conversation back to superficial topics, it’s because he doesn’t want to invest emotionally. Take the hint and invest your time elsewhere.
Then again, maybe he doesn’t have any opinions on the current political climate because can’t even name the last three American presidents.
18. The Double-Texter Hater
You’ve double-texted him a few times (we’ve all been there), and his response is about as warm as a polar bear’s toenails. If he treats your follow-up texts like a personal affront, it’s a sign he’s not exactly thrilled to be hearing from you.
Mandy Hale wisely says in her book The Single Woman: Life, Love and a Dash of Sass, “A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence.”[4]
It’s 2024 and Earth might be uninhabitable soon. Don’t waste your time double-texting someone who isn’t interested. Instead, live your life to make yourself happy and you’ll eventually attract a high-value man — if that’s what you’re looking for.
19. The Relationship Status Denier
You’ve been texting for weeks, maybe even months. And you really like him. But the moment you bring up defining the relationship, he’s very evasive.
“Oh, I’m not really into labels.”
“Can’t we just enjoy things as we are?”
“Why complicate things?”
These are all code for “I don’t want a relationship with you.”
When a guy is into you, he’s not scared of labels. If he’s avoiding the relationship conversation like the plague, it’s time to stop contacting him and see what happens.
20. The Sudden Formality
You’ve noticed a shift in his texting tone. Gone are the playful banter and inside jokes, replaced by responses so formal they could be mistaken for a business email.
You: “Hey, what’s up?”
Him: “Good evening. I hope this message finds you well.”
Unless he’s auditioning for a role in Downton Abbey, this sudden formality is his way of creating emotional distance. It’s the texting equivalent of slowly backing away from a situation he doesn’t want to be in.
Know When to Stop Texting a Guy
If you’re seeing even one of these signs over and over again, it’s time to stop texting him. But if you’re seeing more than one, it’s time to delete his number faster than you can say “Thank you, next!”
You’re not a detective trying to crack the Da Vinci code of his behavior. You’re a strong independent woman who deserves clear communication and reciprocated interest. Please stop. Do not keep nibbling at stale bait.
Use these tips to avoid the texting trap:
- Set clear expectations early. Ain’t nobody got time for guessing names.
- Mirror his energy. If he’s giving you pebbles, don’t build him a castle.
- Prioritize real-life encounters. Emojis can’t buy you dinner, honey.
- Keep your life full and fabulous. Be too busy to obsess over his typing bubbles.
- Trust your gut. If it smells fishy, it probably is.
You’re the author of your love story, not an NPC in his.
Conclusion: Signs He Wants You to Stop Texting Him
If you’ve made it this far and you’re still on the fence about whether to keep texting him, here’s a radical idea: Stop. Just stop texting him and see what happens.
Of all the signs he wants you to stop texting him, this is the most compelling.
If he’s interested, he’ll reach out. And if he doesn’t? Well, you’ve just saved yourself weeks, maybe months of agonizing over one-word replies and late-night “u up?” texts.
So, take a deep breath, put down your phone, and step away from the texting temptation. Focus on yourself, pursue your passions, and live your best life. Because at the end of the day, the most important relationship you have is with yourself.
Check out our gettting into a relationship page for more tips and advice!
References
- Daraj, L. R., Buhejji, M. R., Perlmutter, G., Jahrami, H., & Seeman, M. V. (2023). Ghosting: Abandonment in the Digital Era. Encyclopedia, 4(1), 36–45. https://doi.org/10.3390/encyclopedia4010004
- Trub, L. (2018). It’s complicated: Our relationship with texting. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2018/08/relationship-texting
- Agarwal, N. K., Mitiku, T., & Lu, W. (2022). Disconnectedness in a connected world: why people ignore messages and calls. Aslib Journal of Information Management, 74(4), 650–672. https://doi.org/10.1108/AJIM-05-2021-0150
Hale, M. (2013). The single woman: Life, love, and a dash of sass. Thomas Nelson.
